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How To Get Through Financial Infidelity and Divorce


Financial infidelity describes a situation where a spouse is untruthful regarding their finances with their partner. What one conceals from their spouse may  include spending, bank accounts, or debts. While not often discussed as other forms of betrayal, financial infidelity is a serious and growing concern of trust among spouses. 

Those who experience financial infidelity could be operating under the assumption that they, as a couple, have saved up more money than they actually have, or that their monthly expenses are lower than they are. To make matters worse, some states view debts incurred during a marriage as the shared responsibility of both parties, which directly impacts divorce settlements.

Upon uncovering the breach of trust that is financial infidelity, most people would feel justifiably blindsided. Financial infidelity can cause a previously healthy relationship to spiral into uncertainty, or it can be the catastrophic breaking point of a relationship that has already been crumbling. If a divorce is initiated, tensions between spouses may run high and the process can feel difficult. Depending on the nature of the act and how it was discovered, the spouse who committed the financial infidelity may be unwilling to be fully forthcoming, and the court may hire forensic accountants to examine and scrutinize financial activity to determine the truth.

When someone has been wronged or betrayed, it is natural for them to want to seek the fastest path to justice, with many believing that litigation is the solution. However, in a situation that involves infidelity, parties may be unwilling to communicate amicably, let alone settle. Bringing matters to court could mean that the judge will decide on a couple’s outcome based on legal precedent, rather than what best suits both parties. These hurdles can turn an already stressful and costly process into a long nightmare.

Moving on from financial infidelity is possible and there is an amicable path that does not involve expensive court battles. This can be accomplished by the guidance of a private divorce mediation expert, like Colleen McNamee at McNamee Mediations, who facilitate discussions of sensitive topics and negotiations of divorce between parties directly.

When it comes to financial infidelity, divorce meditators can be crucial in avoiding extended discovery periods by encouraging the spouse to be honest about their spending, hidden debts, and much more. Couples can discuss and make decisions mutually on matters such as custody, estates, division of property, assets, and debts in a way that best suits their situation and desires. These decisions can then be legally formalized in their divorce settlement agreement.

Read Sarah B.‘s review of McNamee Mediations on Yelp

While an impending divorce and the betrayal of someone you love can be painful to come to terms with, the next steps you take will define the rest of your life. Seeking a divorce mediator can allow you to negotiate with your partner, rather than fight things out during litigation. Mediation fosters open communication and compromise, which can even those who are most at odds with each other find common middle ground.

When confronting financial infidelity and other sensitive situations in a marriage, a divorce mediator can prevent the experience from being painful by guiding parties to peaceful resolution. For divorce mediation in Orange County, you can call McNamee Mediations today.


McNamee Mediations
4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660

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